The Duty of Sex in Christian Marriage!

Recently I visited a blog where a sincere brother had raised the need of praying for our wives and what to pray for them. But in all that he said, he had forgotten to mention one principle factor that is very important in every marriage and I trust most honest men will agree with me.

Without beating around the bush, I shall get directly to the point. In all our praying for our wives, should we not pray that they would (in submission to the scriptures and the Spirit) be faithful to the ‘duty of sex’?

Agreed, that the primary goal of Christian married couples coming together sexually is procreation [Malachi 2]. But the Apostle exhorts the unmarried and even the widows that if they cannot contain they should marry. And he gives the reason why – ‘for it is better to marry than to burn’! [1 Cor 7:8-9].

In another place he says, ‘to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband’. [1 Cor 7:2].

As a preacher, I have counseled many married men, and except for very few exceptions the lament of most of them is; that after the initial zeal of the marriage wears off and especially after the couple has been blessed with two or more children, the wife looses all interest in sex and if at all engages in it does so drudgingly.

It was not until I was a few years into my own marriage that I began to understand the Apostles admonition in Colossians 3:19. There he says, “Husbands love your wives, and be not bitter against them”. It is indeed easy for a husband to become bitter against an unyielding wife. And what is worse, this opens a door for the devil to come in with all his wiles. [see 1 Cor 7]

The wise man in the Proverbs writes, "Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love. And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger?" [Prov 5:20].

What becomes of the man who does not find fulfillment with his wife is clearly implied in the above scripture!

Beloved this is a serious issue. I have spoken to many a true child of God who became a victim to sexual sin because of this. Yes it is good for a man not to touch a woman, but not all men have this gift [1 Cor 7:1 & 7].

Many a godly man has fallen into pornography, fornicated and in some cases has even suffered a divorce because of an unyielding wife!

So the subject at hand is indeed a serious one and not one that can be swept under the carpet or one that deserves an ostrich syndrome.

The need for sex is a real one, and when one cannot find it within the marriage bond, one makes himself an easy prey for the wiles of the devil!

So in all our praying for our wives (or husbands, as the case may be [see 1 Cor 7:5) let us fervently pray that they will be faithful to the ‘duty of sex’!